Emotional healing is not always an easy journey. It’s not uncommon to encounter individuals with ingrained cultural beliefs that impact not only their perception of emotional pain but also their process of healing. These beliefs may not always be wrong, but they can still make it difficult to process emotional pain. Here’s more about how some beliefs can hold you back.
Sharing Your Pain is Just Complaining
Living in a small community is one way to learn the benefits of resilience. However, in these circumstances, talking openly about struggles is often considered a weakness. For instance, trauma myths in southern culture, like “airing dirty laundry” can keep people from sharing their innermost emotions with others. This mindset is embedded in their culture and stepped in tradition that valued endurance and stoicism. This is a grave error when it comes to healing.
Know that if you leave challenging emotions unresolved, they won’t simply disappear. In fact, continuous emotional repression is linked to increased levels of the “fight or flight” hormones in your body, which ultimately ruin your immune system. Unresolved pain builds up in your nervous system. This results in headaches, muscle tension, insomnia, and even autoimmune issues.
The truth is that sharing about what’s been hurting you is not complaining; it’s crucial. When you share your emotions with someone you trust, your brain goes through a critical process. It rewires your traumatic experiences, known as neuronal plasticity. Therefore, therapy in any community is crucial because it teaches you how your trauma is related to your life.
Strength Means Never Asking for Help
A common belief held is that needing help is equivalent to failure or incompetence. This is especially the case in cultures that pride themselves on independence. Children may take cues from parents who have not had formal help with their struggles and believe that not seeking help is the way to go.
However, reaching out for assistance is one of the bravest decisions you can ever make. When you do nothing to manage your emotions or ignore the need to connect with a professional for support, you increase the risk of using destructive outlets to relieve pain.
Sometimes, you may experience relationship problems or deteriorating health. Thinking that strength involves silence is like positioning yourself for increased suffering. It’s exactly the opposite of what needs to be done.
It Wasn’t Real Trauma If Others Survived It
This mindset causes a profound sense of isolation. You can have a painful experience and then listen to another person who “suffered the same” say “it really wasn’t that bad.” The problem with the above statement is that it’s not about how rare the experience is, but it’s more about how it traumatized you.
It’s damaging to your mental health if you take the mindset that your pain “doesn’t count” because others have experienced something similar. You stop yourself from trying something to heal because of this damaging mindset. Therapy may be a lifesaver here, as it helps you learn how to validate your own experiences and identify unique ways it has affected you, so you can find a way to resolve those issues.
Endnote
Recovering from emotional pain needs more than just willpower, it needs permission. Permission to talk about the pain that you went through and to seek help with healing without feeling shame or guilt. Therapy is one way to live your life according to your values and to let go of the experiences that no longer define you. Healing isn’t about leaving who you are, but about becoming the healthiest version of yourself.
