I approach clients with respectful curiosity, learning from them what they need and what they want. Through listening to them and exploring their story with them, I look for patterns, for values, for incongruences, for self-talk to see where it points. Frequently, before the traumatic event they are talking about, there are attachment wounds from the past that continue to inform how the person shows up in life. When I see facial expressions and body posture changes, I help the client identify the emotions that are being expressed. When the client identifies an emotion they are willing to talk about, I help them explore what is underneath all that and what it means to them. Through giving words to feelings and doing enactments, I help the client make some connections so that they are empowered to decide where they want to go from there.
I am friendly and accepting without judgment. I support the client saying what they want to say, thinking what they want to think, and living the life they want to live. It is not about my values but their values. I can help them in those places where they are stuck to see what the inner conflicts are. I see myself as a mirror reflecting what they tell me.
I think they learn that talking with me is a safe thing to do. I seriously protect client confidentiality. Also, I listen. I make sure the session is about the client. They learn that I will reflect incongruences and clients see that I am listening and they see that I am trying to help them figure it out. Clients are smart. They know I care about them.
