Your children are among the most important people in your life. It’s only natural that you will undergo levels of anxiety about every milestone they encounter while growing up and even as adults. This parental anxiety could threaten to overwhelm you at various stages of your life if it’s not controlled and rationalized. What are the indicators, and how will you cope in the future?
Signs of Parental Anxiety
Parental anxiety often means that, in scenarios where your child is essentially safe, you’ll overreact and avoid placing them in the situation because something bad could happen. This overreaction is invariably only in your mind — creating fearful thoughts and causing you to worry about things that could affect their well-being. You’ll commonly vocalize your concerns and stress to other parents or your child.
You will constantly be fearful, nervous and worried about your child and whether you’re doing a good job as a parent. This constant anxiety can cause you to feel overwhelmed and unmotivated to carry out the simplest of parental tasks.
As your child grows, several developmental stages and situations can trigger your anxiety as a parent. These include:
- Health: If your child was sick as an infant, you could worry about placing them in environments or situations that could cause their health to deteriorate.
- Emotional factors: Should you have an overly emotional child, it becomes natural that you will want to prevent placing them in positions that will cause undue upset, which could stunt their developmental progress.
- Childhood development: Childhood development: All children require encouragement to develop through different growth stages. Those with a background such as a Bachelor in early childhood program are better equipped to recognize and support these stages without overreacting to natural variations in growth. This kind of training provides a solid understanding of child psychology, learning patterns, and emotional needs—allowing caregivers or educators to respond with confidence and patience rather than concern. As a result, children are more likely to thrive in a stable, nurturing environment where their individual pace is respected.
- Milestones: Previous decisions governed by your parental anxiety could cause your child to be late in meeting physical or mental growth milestones. Missing these will likely exacerbate your stress levels.
- Academic achievement: A child’s failure to achieve in the classroom is a huge contributor to many parents’ anxiety. This lack of educational achievement could stem from previous parental anxiety you’ve carried.
- Socializing: If you’ve prevented your child from mixing with other children in formative growth — perhaps due to health or emotion-based concerns, you may find they have difficulty socializing with peers as they grow. You could find your parental anxiety reaching new heights because of this.
- The future: Constant worry about your child’s well-being as they move through the journey of life can be a massive contributor to parental anxiety levels. As a young parent, you might place a lot of stock in your life path to cement a stable future for your child. If things don’t go according to plan, doubts about leaving a suitable legacy create ongoing anxiety.
Parental anxiety often has a knock-on effect. Your initial concerns may contribute to later decisions about your child’s well-being that potentially cause further developmental issues that trigger your anxiety. If you don’t deal with things properly, you could end up causing your child further harm and compound your anxious thoughts.
Identifying Your Anxiety
Consider the following general symptoms of anxiety, which could be exacerbated by feeling anxious about your children:
- Excessive worry
- Concentration problems
- Feelings of impending doom
- Forgetfulness
- Perspiration, dizziness and a fast heart rate
- Shakiness
- Sleep difficulties
- Constant fatigue
- Irritability
- Tense feelings
- Headaches
- Body aches
- Stomach complaints
You may be experiencing a level of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) if you have some or all of these symptoms. This includes anxiety caused by family, health, work, finances or everyday problems.
If you suspect your parental responsibilities are contributing to your anxiety levels, take steps to minimize these for your and your child’s sake.
Managing Your Future Parental Anxiety
There is a difference between stress and anxiety. Stress is your physical or mental response to something external, like being overloaded at work or unproductive due to illness. It is usually short term, although it can compound if it occurs frequently over an extended period.
Anxiety is how your body reacts to stress. Even if your stresses have passed, anxiety can be ongoing for a lengthy period and sometimes requires medical or psychological intervention to remedy. For example, a child’s illness is a stressful time, but the anxiety of a reoccurrence causes ongoing overprotective actions.
Depending on your parental anxiety level, there are several things you can do to improve things going forward. The beauty of these tips is that many will also help decrease the anxiety built up from other sectors of your life.
Plan for the Future
You can make time in the present for calming activities, such as taking a walk in the fresh air, playing calming music, practicing yoga, meditating or doing deep breathing exercises. Other longer-term solutions will directly reduce your anxiety levels after completion.
Consider if your child will be OK if you get sick or die. Worrying about the future is a direct cause of anxiety in many parents. You want your child to prosper in life, and you’ll be less anxious if you know you can ease their financial burdens if you fall ill or pass away.
Planning your estate early automatically reduces anxiety levels in this regard. If your child is still a minor when you pass away, having somebody you trust as a named legal guardian means you know they’ll be just fine. Drawing up a will and making your child the heir means you’ll have the peace of mind that somebody will look after them in the best way possible when you’re gone. Additionally, a living will means your minor child will have access to your finances supervised by an authorized, trusted adult.
Other steps include taking out life insurance and funeral policies that will benefit your child, minor or adult, in the event of your death. These steps will immediately lower your parental anxiety for the future.
Send Your Child Positive Messages
Although your child may frequently be in situations that raise your parental anxiety, you must practice avoiding sending the wrong messages to them despite your fears. For example, if you are afraid of heights, denying your child a ride on the Ferris wheel because it is too high is unfair. Being overprotective because of your fears and phobias could instill similar reactions in your child throughout life. Instead, withdraw and let another adult accompany them.
Be Obvious With Your Coping Skills
When fear and stress envelop you, keep calm in front of your child, no matter how you feel inside. Force a smile if you have to, and explain your feelings to them. If you are brave enough to accompany your child on the Ferris wheel, explain to them that you’re scared of being so far up but that it’s better to face your fears and grow stronger as a person.
Your child will understand that you’d rather not be there but will learn that sometimes they need to try things before deciding against doing them. At the same time, you’ll be a step closer to beating your phobia while reducing your parental anxiety if you and your child finish the ride with no ill effects. Children learn best by the examples you give them, so only lead with examples you know you’ll deal with — don’t ride the Ferris wheel unless you know you can cope.
Be More Transparent
You’re not perfect, and parental anxiety will make you less so. In the past, you’ve likely reacted harshly to situations due to anxiety and later felt guilty about doing so. Should similar reactions happen in the future, apologize to your child and explain how being more proactive would have been a better option. Then, attempt to apply this explanation in the future practically.
Seek Professional Assistance
If your anxiety as a parent is getting the better of you, it’s advisable to admit it and seek advice from your doctor or a mental health professional. In 2022, GAD affected 6.8 million U.S. adults, with only 43% of these having treatment. While all weren’t likely parents, you can be sure a large percentage were, and those receiving treatment were better off for doing so.
Managing your anxiety, parental or otherwise, means you are less likely to become depressed, which would make coping with life even more difficult. Whether you start by speaking to friends and family about your concerns, receive psychological therapy or attempt cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), you won’t be coping with parental anxiety alone.
CBT is a well-known and effective treatment for anxiety, dealing with associations between your behaviors, thoughts and feelings. CBT aims to give you the coping mechanisms to deal with challenging life situations and reduce the effects of anxiety moving forward. There is no negative stigma to undergoing CBT, and even if there were, it would pale in comparison to being the best and most equipped parent for your child you could be.
Prioritize Yourself for Your Child’s Sake
The anxiety you undergo as a parent stems from your wanting to do the best for your child. It stands to reason that if you’re aware of your parental anxiety, you’ll understand the importance of reducing it to a level that affords you the chance to be the best you can be. Prioritizing yourself in your role ensures you’re also prioritizing your child.
Author Bio
Jack Shaw is a senior writer and editor at Modded, where he passionately explores the intricate connections between physical health, mental well-being, and the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. With a keen eye for detail and a knack for crafting engaging content, Jack’s articles offer valuable insights into living a balanced and fulfilling life.
