Few things in life are as difficult to cope with as the loss of someone dear to us. Studies have found that 61 million people lost their lives in 2023. That’s a shocking number, which indicates those affected by the loss of a loved one.
Even if someone’s death is imminent or they’ve lived a full healthy life, nothing prepares us for the final goodbye. If you’re experiencing bereavement grief, please know that it is a process and perfectly alright to go through mixed emotions.
Some people report experiencing deep sadness, whereas others feel remorse, anger, or guilt. We completely understand if it’s all too overwhelming to express at times. In this article, we will talk about three healthy ways to overcome this emotional crisis, one day at a time.
How Long Can the Grieving Process Last?
It can sometimes feel that the world has placed a set timeline on grief. If someone’s grief lasts for a shorter or longer period, they’re immediately labeled as insensitive or overly emotional. This is exactly why people fear that they may be grieving too much or too little.
Let’s start by dispelling this myth – there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Some people may begin grieving their loved one’s loss even before their death. This is true of those whose loved ones are in hospice care. Known as anticipatory grief, the caregiver may start imagining how life would change once their loved one is gone.
They may also experience anxiety at the thought of doing life alone. Others may begin to grieve only after death, especially if their loved one died under unforeseen circumstances. In such cases, grief also becomes complicated as someone experiences denial or detachment from others.
In general, the grief of bereavement may last for a year or longer. With time, the overwhelming emotions turn into a dull ache. It’s true that nobody ever moves on from such a massive loss; we just learn to accept it. Despite the general timeline, how long someone grieves will depend on the following –
- The strength of their bond with the deceased
- The circumstances under which the loved one died
- Personal life experiences
- How they view death and what it means to them
- Their cultural practices
3 Ways to Cope with the Loss
The American Cancer Society states that even those who had a difficult relationship with the deceased can experience a range of painful emotions. More often, they may mourn the loss of a relationship they always wished to have. No matter the grief you’re experiencing, the following three ways will help you cope with the loss.
Accept Your Emotions
This one is huge and can take some time. With the loss of a loved one, those left behind must accept a lot of things (besides the actual loss of the person). For instance – if the circumstances were sudden and uncalled for, one may find it difficult to accept it, especially with no chance to say goodbye.
Then, you must accept the fact that bereavement brings with it a range of emotions. You could have done everything in your power to save your beloved’s life. Even then, it’s possible to experience a deep sense of guilt. Losing someone dear to us is an unexplainably complex process, only complicated further by emotions and feelings.
Most importantly, give yourself the time you need for acceptance, and do not rush this process. We understand that you may wish to hasten it if you’ve already dealt with anticipatory grief. However, your mind, heart, and body will need their own pace. Here are a few tips to accept the loss and emotions –
- Don’t stop yourself from crying or dwelling on the memories shared with your loved one.
- Cry as many times as you need throughout the day, even if sometimes all you can do is weep bitterly.
- Listen to your body’s needs and don’t compromise on food and sleep. Grief can deplete one’s emotional resources and energy.
- Take time to reflect on your loved one’s legacy and celebrate their life.
- Spend more time with trusted friends and family members to share your burdens.
Seek the Support You Need
Friends and family will be more than ready to offer a shoulder to lean on. However, sometimes you may feel there’s still something missing. Acknowledge that your dear ones mean well but do not hesitate to seek professional support.
There are plenty of options available. You can consult with a mental health therapist, counselor, or even an independently practicing psychiatric nurse practitioner. These professionals are well-trained in assessment, diagnosis, and care plans.
For instance – if you choose to seek support from a nurse practitioner, they will check whether you’re showcasing symptoms of depression or anxiety. According to Wilkes University, the healthcare professional will carry out mental health assessments and prescribe a custom treatment plan.
Their focus will not simply be on administering medication to curb the symptoms. With professional support, you can –
- Learn to accept the reality of the loss
- Understand healthier ways to deal with the pain and grief
- Adjust to life without your loved one
- Move on with life while maintaining a loving connection with them
Preserve the Memories
Grief tends to seem unbearable when we falsely believe that our loved one is cast into the sea of oblivion. Just because their direct presence is no longer with us does not mean that they are completely gone. Remember that nobody can take away the beautiful memories you shared with them.
Preserving those memories is one way of keeping them alive. Listed below are some other ways to do that –
- Create a memory box as a special place to store all your loved one’s items, including mementos, letters, photographs, and more.
- Light a candle by yourself or along with other loved ones to honor their life.
- You can even create a memory book to remember cherished memories. It will become a keepsake for generations to come.
- Gather around with friends and family on their birthday to share a meal in their memory.
- Consider visiting their favorite places and participating in their well-loved activities.
Even when all is said and done, time is the key factor. These aforementioned ways of coping with loss are not directed at erasing your precious loved one’s memory. Neither are they focused on explaining away the loss as a natural part of life.
They will help you acknowledge and honor your loved one’s life, legacy, and memories. One day, when you look back, you will discover that they gave you forever even within those numbered days.
