A client comes in fried. Work is a mess. Sleep is a mess. They have been crying in the bathroom. Their manager keeps asking what is going on. HR is “just checking in.” The client wants time off or a lighter load. They also do not want to hand their private life to the office grapevine on a silver platter.
This is where “say less” helps. It is not about being sneaky. It is about giving the workplace the smallest amount of health info that still gets the client what they need.
Quick note before we get into it. This is not legal advice. This is a therapist-friendly communication playbook for US workplaces.
What “say less” actually means
“Say less” means the client communicates three things.
They name the work impact. They name the request. They set a boundary around details.
That is it.
It also means the client does not write a personal essay to prove they are suffering enough. They do not explain their trauma history. They do not list symptoms like a checklist. They do not share diagnosis and treatment unless they want to, or unless a formal process truly calls for it.
Here is the vibe difference.
Overshare: “I have PTSD and my meds changed and I am having panic attacks because my manager triggers me and I am in therapy twice a week.”
Say less: “I am dealing with a health condition, and I need to take sick leave today. If documentation is needed, I can send it through HR.”
Why clients overshare at work
A lot of clients overshare because they feel guilty. They worry they will look lazy. They worry they will lose their job. So they try to “earn” understanding by giving details.
Some clients overshare because they are dysregulated. They write the email while panicking. It turns into a confession that they cannot take back.
Some clients overshare because the manager pushes. The manager asks personal questions and acts like it is normal. Many clients do not realize they can set a boundary without being rude.
Your role is to slow the whole thing down. You help the client ask for what they need. You also help them avoid waking up the next day and thinking, “Why did I tell my boss that.”
Who needs to know what
This part alone can save a client from a long workplace mess.
A manager usually needs scheduling and coverage info. They need to know if the client is out today. They need a rough return plan if one exists. They need handoff details if the work is time-sensitive. They do not need medical details.
HR or a leave administrator is where paperwork usually belongs. When medical documentation is required, it generally flows through HR and not through a direct manager conversation.
Coworkers do not need health info. They need “I am out today” and nothing more.
If you want a simple line to say in session, use this. “Work needs logistics. Work does not need your life story.”
The goal-first rule
How much to say depends on what the client is trying to get. I like to ask this early. “What is the outcome you want from this email.”
Common goals usually fall into one of these buckets.
The client wants one day off. The client wants a few days off. The client wants ongoing time for appointments. The client wants protected leave. The client wants an accommodation.
When you name the goal, the message gets easier. It becomes a request instead of a confession.
If the goal is one day off
The message can be very short. “Sick leave today” works in many workplaces.
If the goal is a few days off
Same approach, but add dates. Keep it boring. Boring is good here.
If the goal is FMLA leave
In the US, employers can require a health care provider certification for FMLA. The Department of Labor has optional forms like WH-380-E. That form even notes that diagnosis and other medical facts may be provided but are not required.
For your client, this often means the “details” conversation belongs with HR and the certification process. It does not belong in an email to the manager.
If the goal is an ADA accommodation
If the disability and need are not obvious, employers can ask for medical documentation to support the accommodation request.
At the same time, employers generally should not ask for complete medical records because those tend to include a lot of unrelated information. AskJAN says an employer may not ask for documentation unrelated to the accommodation request and that includes complete medical records.
That is the sweet spot where “say less” really shines. You help the client talk about function and needs. You help them skip the clinical backstory.
The “least detail needed” formula
Here is the simple structure I teach clients.
1) Headline: “I am dealing with a health condition.”
2) Work impact: “It is affecting my ability to work my normal schedule this week.”
3) Ask: “I am requesting [time off / schedule change / temporary adjustment].”
4) Boundary: “If documentation is needed, I can share it through HR.”
This gives the workplace what it needs. It also gives the client a script they can repeat when they get nervous.
Scripts you can role-play in session
These are meant to be copy-pasteable. In session, I like to have the client read it out loud once. Then I have them shorten it by one sentence. That second version is usually the keeper.
1) One-day sick leave email
Subject: Sick leave today
Hi [Name].
I need to take sick leave today due to a health condition.
I will be offline.
I expect to return on [Day].
If documentation is needed, please tell me where to send it.
2) A few days off with a return plan
Subject: Medical leave request
Hi [Name].
I am dealing with a health condition and I need to take medical leave from [Date] through [Date].
I will check in on [Date] to confirm my return plan.
If documentation is needed, I can send it through HR.
3) Recurring appointment schedule change
Subject: Schedule adjustment request
Hi [Name].
I have a recurring medical appointment on [Day] at [Time].
I am requesting a schedule adjustment so I can attend.
I can make up the time by [Option] and I will keep coverage needs in mind.
4) HR process email that stays neutral
Subject: Question about medical leave or accommodations
Hi [HR Name].
I am dealing with a health condition and I may need time off or a temporary adjustment at work.
Can you share the steps for medical leave or accommodations and what documentation is required.
5) Accommodation request without diagnosis
Subject: Request for workplace accommodation
Hi [HR Name].
I am requesting a workplace accommodation related to a health condition.
It affects my ability to [Key job function].
I am requesting [Specific accommodation] for [Time period].
Please tell me your process and whether you need documentation from a clinician.
6) When a manager asks “what’s going on”
This is the moment clients freeze. Give them a one-liner they can repeat.
“I want to keep medical details private. I can share what I need at work right now.”
If they need a follow-up line, try this.
“I am happy to work with HR on any required paperwork.”
Documentation without oversharing
This is where many clients get pulled into giving too much. They hear “doctor’s note” and assume they need to disclose everything.
A basic work note can be simple. It can confirm dates out. It can confirm a return date. It can list temporary restrictions like reduced hours or a limited schedule. It often does not need a diagnosis.
FMLA certification can be more detailed than a basic note, but it still has boundaries. The Department of Labor’s WH-380-E form says the provider may provide diagnosis or other medical facts but is not required to.
Accommodation support letters work best when they talk about functional limits and what helps at work. They do not need therapy methods. They do not need a full history. They do not need a symptom diary.
If a client just needs a simple note for time off, you can make one with a doctor note template and keep the wording minimal.
The two-minute privacy talk that helps clients calm down
Clients usually ask, “Can my employer share this.”
Under the ADA, medical info from disability-related inquiries or medical exams must be kept confidential and stored in separate medical files.
Under FMLA rules, records related to medical certifications must be kept as confidential medical records in separate files from usual personnel files.
Then I tell clients the real-world part. Policies exist. People also talk. That is why we keep manager emails short and boring. That is why we push documentation through HR when possible.
If you want one extra nuance for therapist readers, this is worth a quick mention: some ADA confidentiality protections depend on how the employer obtained the medical information. Voluntary disclosure can create messy situations.
A simple in-session coaching flow
If you want a tight way to run this in session, this works well in about ten minutes.
First, name the goal. Time off. Schedule change. Accommodation. Protected leave.
Second, pick the audience. Manager or HR. If it is paperwork-heavy, aim toward HR.
Third, draft the message using the four-line formula.
Fourth, role-play pushback. This is the part clients usually need the most because they panic when someone asks follow-ups.
Here are three lines that work in a lot of workplaces:
“I am not comfortable discussing medical details at work.”
“I can share documentation through HR if needed.”
“I can share what I need and my timeline.”
Fifth, decide what happens if HR asks for documentation. If a basic note is enough, your templates can be the quick off-ramp. If it is FMLA certification or an accommodation packet, you help the client shift into the formal process.
Common mistakes that blow up privacy
The first mistake is writing an emotional email late at night. The client wakes up and regrets it. The fix is simple. Draft it. Sleep. Send it in the morning.
The second mistake is sending health details to the manager instead of HR. The fix is the boundary line. “I can share documentation through HR.”
The third mistake is naming a diagnosis when it is not needed. The fix is to stick to function. “I cannot work my usual schedule this week.” That is enough for many situations.
The fourth mistake is being vague in a way that invites questions. “Personal reasons” can backfire because managers get curious. “Health condition” is often cleaner.
If you want one simple rule to teach clients, use this: if it reads like a confession, it is too much.
A few special situations you will see a lot
If the workplace feels toxic or the client fears retaliation, help them keep communication factual and date-based. Help them document requests and responses. Help them avoid emotional language in emails.
If the client is remote, schedule changes can be easier. The same “say less” approach still applies. The goal is clear expectations and a clear timeline.
If the client is in a safety-sensitive job, the workplace may have stricter policies around fitness for duty. In those cases, it is even more important to keep the manager message short and push details into the formal process.
Closing thought
Most clients do not need to explain their mental health to get time off or a reasonable adjustment. They need a clean request. They need a boundary. They need a plan for what to do when someone pushes.
If you want to make this easy for your clients, save two scripts and practice them in session. One for a sick day. One for HR.
And when a basic note is needed, keep it simple and minimal. That is where a free doctor note template can be a practical tool that does not force the client into oversharing.
