Every person has an innate personality that’s special and unique. Given that fact, it can’t be said that someone’s personality is better than another’s.
Whatever your personality type may be, however, it can always be developed. Prior to that, you should learn to truly understand yourself. You need to assess the traits you already have to determine which ones could use some improvement.
Doing so would help you focus on your strong personality traits in order to gain confidence and self-esteem. The more self-aware you become, the more you can project your wonderful personality to everyone around you.
Personality is defined as one’s typical pattern of thinking and feeling. It’s a set of behaviors that make a person truly one of a kind.
Personality development is a term you likely often hear from life coaches and mentors. You might also encounter it in self-help books. So what’s it all about anyway? Does it include the way you look and the way you talk? Or does it mostly have to do with how you interact with different kinds of people?
Personality development involves building your capabilities and nurturing your talents. It also entails either picking up new interests or skills or improving current ones. With the help of personality development, you can work on your weaknesses and convert them into strengths.
Tips on How to Have Good Personality Traits
Here are some of the ways for you to develop your personality:
The first step you need to take to improve your personality is to get to know yourself better. You should be able to look at yourself with X-ray vision. Dissect your traits, strengths, and weaknesses. Recognize that your imperfections are part of who you are, so there’s no need to hide or feel embarrassed about them.
After deepening your self-perception, it’s time to assess yourself. You can do this by writing down at least five of your personality traits. Then, figure out the possible reasons you have them and whether you consider them positive or negative qualities.
Check whether you’re mostly mentioning your positive traits and disregarding the negative ones or vice versa. If you notice that there are more negative qualities on your list, this might mean that you see yourself as unworthy and have poor self-esteem. If it’s the opposite, this could indicate that you’re overconfident and you don’t recognize that certain areas of your personality require an adjustment.
Which Activities Do You Enjoy?
If you find yourself struggling during the self-evaluation, it may be helpful for you to look at what activities make you happy. Everyone has a different concept of “fun.” What you may find enjoyable may not be pleasurable for others. This doesn’t matter. You have to focus on yourself and not on what others perceive of you. This provides you with the framework for where you typically find joy.
Also, do you have a good time socializing and being with people, or do you prefer smaller groups or being alone? The answer to this is important in assessing how you interact and connect with others. After all, your communication skills can say a lot about your personality.
What Traits Need Improvement?
Surely there’s something about your personality that you’ll find bothersome, and that’s perfectly normal. So which trait would you like to change? Being able to ponder on this question is a good step in developing your personality. Ascertain whether you need to improve in any of the following areas:
- Anxiety, anger, or temper
- Shyness, awkwardness, or fearfulness
- Loneliness or depression
- Stubbornness or frustration
- Arrogant behavior
- Lack of trust
Focus on Your Attractive Personality Traits
Find Your Self-Confidence
When you want to target a positive trait, confidence is a good option since it’s considered an attractive quality. You may notice that happy individuals tend to be those who are very confident.
Here are several ways to give yourself a confidence boost:
- Your body language should show that you’re confident and not fearful of anyone. Maintain good eye contact during conversations. Smile as much as possible, and look interested in what the other person is saying.
- Have a positive mindset. It’d help for you to think about the good things happening in your life. Recall your recent accomplishments and the struggles that you’ve overcome.
- Aside from thinking about your skills and achievements, it’s a good idea to work toward learning something new. Once you find parts of your personality that are lacking in certain aspects, instead of feeling shameful about them, concentrate on improving them.
Be Open to Something New
Although it’s easier to stay inside your bubble for as long as you can, it might eventually get boring and dull. Welcome change whenever possible. Do your best to be more adventurous while keeping in mind that new, worthwhile experiences don’t necessarily equate to risky activities.
You may feel shy or uncertain about it, and it’s fine to feel that way. Don’t worry if things don’t turn out as you’d expected them to. People often tend to overthink things and imagine the worst, but in reality, the situation isn’t as terrible. When you’re more open to new situations, you develop a more flexible personality and, in turn, become more interesting and attractive to others.
Be optimistic about the chance to do something you’ve never done before. When you have a positive outlook, you might find that life is brighter and better than usual.
Should you be nervous about leaving your comfort zone, convince yourself that you’re fully capable of handling new emotions. Sometimes, you might need support or a little push from friends and family. You may want to try new things with them as well. Accepting change is a lot easier when you’re surrounded by people you trust.
Be Friendly and Pleasant
You won’t be in a good mood every single day. There’ll be days when you don’t feel like being friendly or pleasant. Such times can be tough for anyone.
It’s easier for most people to approach someone who’s friendly, kind, and agreeable. If you want to have those qualities, show interest in getting to know the person you’re talking to. Make proper eye contact (but don’t stare), be approachable, practice active listening, and avoid judging the other person’s take on any given topic.
When people approach you to seek comfort, don’t push them away. Instead, be empathetic as they share their problems or frustrations. Temporarily stop what you’re doing and focus on the person. Don’t interrupt them while they’re still speaking, and respond at the right time.
If you’re in a conversation with a rude person, stay calm and polite. Of course, you should know your boundaries and avoid engaging in arguments or physical fights with those you disagree with.
Be Modest and Respectful
When you’re doing well and people acknowledge your achievement, keep your feet on the ground. Don’t brag or oversell yourself. Also, be happy for other people and what they’ve achieved instead of getting envious of them.
Being humble and respectful isn’t easy under some circumstances, so it’s a must to practice self-control. Focus on how you can help others instead of inconveniencing them.
People make mistakes, and dwelling on the past won’t help you improve as a person. It’s best to let go of the past, forgive yourself, and forgive those who’ve wronged you. If you become more future-oriented, you’ll have less of a burden to carry as you go through the notions of life.
Be More Resilient
A person is considered resilient when they can react positively to challenging situations and persevere regardless of the cards they’ve been dealt. Resiliency is an important weapon you can use to battle any adversity. Many individuals look up to resilient people for being fighters and not losing hope even when all seems lost.
How can you become more resilient?
- Prepare yourself emotionally every day.
- When you’re faced with problems, learn how to be objective in dealing with them. Determine which factors are controllable and which ones aren’t. From there, you can determine which actions to take in order to solve your problem.
- Don’t take everything and anything too seriously. Give yourself and other people a chance to be better. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and don’t expect too much from others.
- Focus on self-care. Find ways to keep your body, mind, and spirit healthy and positive.
- Don’t allow yourself to be discouraged and disappointed for too long. Instead of thinking about past mistakes, concentrate on what good came from them and what you’ve learned.
Avoid Negative Personality Traits
Stop Being Stubborn and Rigid
A rigid person knows exactly what they want and gets it no matter what. For them, everything’s written in black-and-white.
You could become less stubborn if you gradually accept that things aren’t always clear-cut. Exceptions exist for a reason, and there are alternative ways to achieve any kind of outcome. By being flexible when looking at a situation or engaging with another person, you won’t end up limiting your potential.
Be More Patient and Less Angry
Anger is a normal emotion that any person can experience. There may be instances when you feel out of control or don’t understand what you’re feeling, and the result could be excessive rage.
Being patient and less angry may take a lot of work, but it’s possible if you work hard on it. When you find yourself in a fight-or-flight mode, do breathing exercises to stay in control. If you’re often frustrated or stressed out, sit down and think of the possible reasons. Afterward, avoid people or situations that you know can trigger your anger.
Be More Helpful
If you’ve realized that you’re often selfish and uncaring toward others, you can break this behavior by shifting your mindset. Put yourself in other people’s shoes, and prioritize their needs once yours have been fulfilled. You should also be ready to assist others, especially those with no means to help themselves.
Here are several ways you can be more helpful and selfless:
- Do things you often complain about or deliberately avoid doing.
- Offer your assistance to those close to you—family members, friends, neighbors, or colleagues. Later on, look for opportunities to extend help to acquaintances and strangers.
- Be part of a group. Participate in volunteer work organized by your community.
You can overcome shyness with enough practice. This is important if you want to be able to stand up for yourself and say what you want without any apprehension or hesitation. If you let go of being shy, whenever you have an opinion about certain matters, you can confidently express it. This’ll make conversations more appealing and encourage others to listen to you.
To develop your speaking skills, take public speaking classes. If you’re a student, you can opt to join debate teams and compete in speech contests. What’s more, whenever you attend social events, use that time to practice your communication skills and interact with different kinds of people.
Avoid Comparing Yourself With Others
It’s not healthy to constantly think that others are better than you in everything. If you keep zeroing in on what you don’t have, you’ll never be able to appreciate your uniqueness.
Every time you wake up in the morning, write at least three things you’re grateful for. Be thankful for what you’re blessed with even if it’s not much.
There’s nothing wrong with wishing for something you don’t have right now. Dreaming and hoping won’t cost you a cent, either. Still, don’t just wallow in them without taking action. Use your dreams to fuel yourself to realize them.
Have Faith in Yourself
Recognize Your Uniqueness
You don’t have to be somebody else to be happy or liked by others. Staying true to yourself is the only way you’ll find lasting joy.
Everyone grows up and goes through changes. You may notice one day that you’re no longer shy, timid, or stubborn. Perhaps you’ve become more adaptable and open-minded, which is a very good thing.
An individual’s personality develops as they mature, though the extent to which it does varies from person to person. It may stay relatively the same, or it might change drastically. Either way, remember that there’s only one you in this world, so there’s no need to follow the status quo to be accepted. The right people will love you just as you are.
Discover Your Inner Happiness
Your personality is tied to what makes you happy. It shines brighter when you’re happy, calm, and well rested.
You can find your inner happiness by doing relaxing activities such as meditating, going on nature walks, or even listening to good music. When you focus on your happiness and give yourself time daily to clear your mind, you can improve not only your physical health but also your mental wellness.
Everything starts with you, so it’s up to you to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. With that said, it’s crucial that you follow a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.
You have to learn how to love and appreciate yourself. Your personality may be innate, but you can change it for the better if you put enough effort into it.
Don’t allow anyone to look down on you, and neither should you allow anyone’s opinion to get the best of you. The only person who can define who and what you are is yourself.
Make companions out of positive people who love and celebrate your existence. They’ll inspire and motivate you to become the best version of yourself. Also, you shouldn’t forget to be more kind to yourself every day.
Embrace Your Personality Traits
Wanting to be physically attractive is alright, but you have to work on your inner beauty as well. Determine which aspects of your personality you can improve. However, you have to do it for yourself and not to please other people. You’ll soon discover that your uniqueness is what makes your personality attractive.
You need to be patient if you want personal growth as it naturally takes time. The earlier you improve your personality, the better. Plan it out and work on it daily so you won’t falter.
Counseling Now is here to help you throughout your journey toward personal growth. We understand that a great personality can make for a better life, so we offer online services that can help you achieve just that. You’ll get proper support and guidance from our seasoned counselors in the comfort of your own home. Book an appointment today with Counseling Now!